best ever metaphors and analogies

Standard

 

coffee shop

COLLAGE GIF-BY ME-ANA CHRISTY

Best Ever Metaphors and Analogies 
(as taken from high school English papers)

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

  1. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
    underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  2. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
    guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
    those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
    speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
    without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

  3. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.

GIF1

  1. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
    just before it throws up.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

  • He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

  • The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
    because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
    at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
    bowling ball wouldn’t.

  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
    filled with vegetable soup.

  •  

    1. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
      eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and
      Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

  • The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
    fry them in hot grease.

  • gif2

    1. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
      the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
      left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
      at 4:19 p.m., at a speed of 35 mph.
  • They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
    that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
    also had never met.

  • gif2

    1. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
      East River.
  • Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
    only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

  • Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
    this plan just might work.

  • elvis

    1. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
      eating for a while.
  • He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
    but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land
    mine or something.

  • The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
    leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

  • It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.

  • hippie

    1. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
      as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
  • Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in
    any pH cleanser.

  • She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

  • It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
    to the wall

  • beat1

    Advertisements

    About hobo hippie

    Hi I am an old hippie, a "beat" poet and novelist, and digital artist. I was co -editor and publisher of "Alpha Beat Press" alpha beat soup, bouillabaisse and cokefish and cokefishing in alpha beat soup with my late husband Dave Christy. My novel "eeenie meenie minee moe is for sale on amazon books. my other blogs are http://tilliespuncturedromance.wordpress.com about humor and the weird. The blog is named after a Charlie Chaplin movie. http://concretebologna.wordpress.com a blog about world art.

    Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s