best ever metaphors and analogies



coffee shop


Best Ever Metaphors and Analogies 
(as taken from high school English papers)

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

  1. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
    underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  2. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
    guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
    those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
    speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
    without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

  3. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.


  1. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
    just before it throws up.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

  • He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

  • The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
    because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
    at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
    bowling ball wouldn’t.

  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
    filled with vegetable soup.


    1. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
      eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and
      Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

  • The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
    fry them in hot grease.

  • gif2

    1. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
      the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
      left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
      at 4:19 p.m., at a speed of 35 mph.
  • They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
    that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
    also had never met.

  • gif2

    1. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
      East River.
  • Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
    only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

  • Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
    this plan just might work.

  • elvis

    1. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
      eating for a while.
  • He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
    but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land
    mine or something.

  • The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
    leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

  • It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.

  • hippie

    1. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
      as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
  • Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in
    any pH cleanser.

  • She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

  • It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
    to the wall

  • beat1

    50 Hottest Most Grooviest Photos from the Past That Will Redefine Your Style Statement

     SUNDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2016

    50 Hottest Most Grooviest Photos from the Past That Will Redefine Your Style Statement

    A pictorial celebration of the coolest kids from the past… From beatniks to bikers, mods to rude boys, hippies to ravers. And everything in between. These are images that will set your soul on fire. Get ready to get a style check.

    1. A flirtatious Brigitte Bardot in a white swimsuit.

    2. London, 1904.

    3. Little hippie girl going dance crazy at Woodstock, 1969.

    4. Young boys strike a pose for the camera, Jamaica.

    5. Muhammad Ali with his all of his ‘Ginormous’ winnings, 1974.

    6. Pretty girl selling flowers on the roadside, Oklahoma, 1973.

    7. Bathing beauties in vivid Kodachrome, 1944.

    8. Arnold Schwarzenegger swags it up with his glass of cognac.

    9. A punk guy rocking a kickass Mohawk, 1970.

    10. Ann Margaret totally rocking it out on her bike, 1969.

    11. Morgan Freeman sporting a wicked afro in the ’70s.

    12. Boys of the future, New York, 1970.

    13. Two foxxy couples in Harlem, New York, 1970s.

    14. Hugh Hefner with his new bunnies, 1970s.

    15. The stylish Greta Garbo.

    16. Mick Jagger, Andy Warhol, and Jane Holzer, circa 1965.

    17. Candy Cigarette by photographer Sally Man, 1989.

    18. A stylish couple enjoying the romantic rain in London, 1963.

    19. The Bowdoin College Tug of War Team, 1891.

    20. Sean Connery leaves his basement flat in London for a game of golf, 1962.

    21. A beautiful girl admiring her reflection in a Rolls Royce while men around her get mesmerized, London, 1968.

    22. Woman in the British Royal Army Corps flaunts her new tattoo, 1940.

    23. The Beatles arrive in style at the JFK airport, New York, 1964.

    24. The Saturday Night Live original cast, 1975.

    25. Jimi Hendrix on Carnaby Street in London, 1967.

    26. A young and debonair Robin Williams, 1969.

    27. Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip at the horse races, 1968.

    28. A gang of young and vivacious girls, 1930.

    29. Actress Joan Bradshaw keeps heads turning as she walks down Hollywood Boulevard, 1957.

    30. A group of handsome Southside Boys, Chicago, 1941.

    31. A 1970s biker girl cranking up some tunes.

    32. Rita Hayworth looking hot on her bicycle, 1940s.

    33. A couple dancing in a 1950s “Be Bop” theater as everyone looks on.

    34. The amazing Ann-Margret in Bye Bye Birdie, 1963.

    35. Bruce Willis living the life, 1989.

    36. A woman experiences heaven in the 1961 Buick “Flamingo” equipped with a rotating front seat.

    37. Princess Yvonne and Prince Alexander party like rockstars, Germany, 1955.

    38. Two girls walking down the street in Cape Town, 1965.

    39. Picasso in his studio, 1956.

    40. A high school girl setting a groovy fashion statement, 1964.

    41. Presenting Diana Rigg, Olenna Tyrell from Game of Thrones, 1967.

    42. Too cool for school, Brooklyn teenagers in the ’80s.

    43. Pretty roller skating girls humor some boys at an Outdoor Roller Skating Rink, 1970s.

    44. A scooter girl, 1969.

    45. Nat King Cole enjoys a smoke while he plays his tunes on a piano.

    46. Jane Fonda stretches and relaxes in the back of her limo, 1958.

    47. Ann Margaret poses with a baby leopard, 1960s.

    48. The University of Texas women’s track team practices, 1964.

    49. Harrison Ford looking sharp, 1980.

    50. Pacific Southwest Airlines stewardesses, 1972.

    (via Emlii)


    New Yorks bohemian Greenwich Village.


    Published on Jun 17, 2015

    Beatniks, Counterculture and Bohemian life in the sixties.

    In this short compelling documentary from 1961, we’re taken back to the thriving cultural life of New Yorks bohemian Greenwich Village.

    From The Prelinger Archives
    Greenwich Village Sunday
    Producer: Stewart Wilensky
    Music: Charles Mills



    ABOUT DAVE AND I IN NEW HOPE Dave and I moved to New Hope in the late 90’s. We were married on our porch by the mayor. Written about in the tourist guide we often had unexpected visitors of t…


    This Man Sold Meth to Pay for His Son’s Lifesaving Transplant. Obama Gave Him Clemency—But His Ordeal Continues at a Halfway House


    This Man Sold Meth to Pay for His Son’s Lifesaving Transplant. Obama Gave Him Clemency—But His Ordeal Continues at a Halfway House


    Editor’s note: President Obama has extended clemency to an unparalleled number of people convicted of nonviolent drug-law violations—a program unlikely to be prioritized by either a President Clinton or a President Trump. AlterNet andThe Influence have partnered on a series profiling people impacted by the program, as time runs out for inmates hoping to get their sentences commuted. 


    It didn’t take long after Dicky Joe Jackson’s son, Cole, got sick, for the health insurance company to find a way to avoid covering his treatments.

    “As soon as the bills for the cancer tests started rolling in, the insurance company began looking for ways to get out of paying them,” Jackson has written. His family, which was certainly not made of money in the first place—Jackson had driven a truck for a living—soon faced the kind of health insurance nightmare that might break far bigger bank accounts.

    In 1989, when Cole was two, doctors told the Jackson family that the only way to save his life was through a bone marrow transplant. The health insurance company was as understanding about this as you’d expect.

    They “upped our monthly premium without notifying us,” Jackson explains. “The automatic draft didn’t clear the bank because we were budgeted tight, so they dropped us.”

    Through some ingenious fundraising, the family got part of the money together and Cole got the transplant from his 11-year-old sister April—but it didn’t fully heal him, and they continued racking up medical expenses. By then, they family owed $200,000 in medical bills, Jackson says.

    Then Jackson’s father, who’d also worked as a trucker, died. This left Jackson solely responsible for supporting his mother and the rest of his family—and for paying for his son’s life-saving treatments.

    Given that he was not a particularly desirable candidate for a bank loan, the only way Jackson could figure out to do all that was to help transport meth on his truck route. A meth dealer he knew—Jackson had occasionally used meth to stay awake on long drives—asked him to carry the drug in his truck.

    Then Jackson sold meth to an undercover cop. He was arrested in 1995. In part because the supplier testified against him, claiming that he was the ringleader, the supplier got 10 years. Dicky Joe Jackson got life without parole.


    “I had given up,” his daughter, April, tells me over the phone.

    When she first heard about President Obama’s clemency initiative, her hopes surged. Then they quickly fell, after she realized the sheer number of nonviolent drug prisoners also hoping to have their sentences commuted: “So many thousands of people that deserve this just as much as we do—it’s like winning the lottery. Any time more were announced, I lost just a little bit of hope. I thought, ‘Here we are, nearing the end of Obama’s term. I have no faith that it’ll continue.’”

    “We were losing hope,” April says. “And when I got that call, words just can’t describe … I was in disbelief at first. It was very surreal. Like a dream. I felt a gratitude that can’t be expressed with words.”

    “I WANT TO DO ALL I CAN FOR THOSE STILL IN SO IM GONNA GET WITH YOU WHEN I GET HOME. THEYVE APPROVED ME FOR HOME CONFINEMENT SO ILL BE HOME IN A WK OR SO,” Jackson typed in an email to an advocacy group on August 3, the day he received clemency.

    Jackson walked out of prison on September 1. But, as with most stories involving America’s justice system, his and his family’s trials are far from over. Jackson is technically under the purview of the Bureau of Prisons until December 1, when his sentence officially ends, after which he’ll be on probation for five years.

    Even though the family had been told that he was “approved for home confinement,” April says, he was instead diverted to a halfway house run by Volunteers of America. Founded in 1896, the organization defines its mission as, “a church without walls that answers God’s call to transform our communities through a ministry of service that demonstrates to all people that they are beloved.”

    That has not been Jackson’s experience so far. “These people here… you know, we were under the understanding that they’re trying to help you reintegrate into society. But they act like the Gestapo, my gosh,” he says. “They’re constantly on your neck, won’t give you a minute’s freedom.”

    Halfway houses—meant to serve as re-entry points for prisoners—are chosen by the Bureau of Prisons, according to the advocacy group Families Against Mandatory Minimums. “When deciding whether to send someone to a halfway house and for how long, the BOP will look at the prisoner’s disciplinary record and whether the prisoner has refused to participate in prison programs and reentry preparation programs,” they write. The BOP did not respond to a request for comment by publication time.

    “The original intent of the halfway house was to help prisoners transition from prison life into society,” says Amy Povah, founder of CAN-DO: Justice Through Clemency. “But over the years some staff have adopted a ‘gotcha’ bully mentality that creates unnecessary burdens and oppression.”

    On their website, Volunteers of America write, “We excel at meeting immediate needs, but are able to transform lives through our belief in, and reliance on, grace.” They didn’t reply to a request for comment—but their cheery recorded message says they “Help the vulnerable reach their full potential.”

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