Tag Archives: asshole

A REALLY FUNNY POEM “ASSHOLE” BY DENNIS LEARY

Standard
2013-09-08-other_peopleThe song is "Asshole" and it's by Dennis Leary. Here are the words:

I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, My kids and my car
nMy feet on my tableand a cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
So i've gotta go out 
and have fun at someone else's expense
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Chorus
I'm an assholeX2

I use public toilets and I piss on the seats
I walk around in the summertime sayin how about this heat

Chorus

Sometimes I park in handicapped places
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Chorus

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Naaaaaaa

Chorus

Spoken:

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac 
Eldorado Convertable, hot pink with whale skin hub-caps and all 
leather cow interior and big brown babby seal eyes for headlights. 
Yeah and I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour 
getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheese 
burgers from Mc Donalds in the old fasion, non-biodegradible styrofoam 
containers and when I'm done suckn' down those greaseburgers I'm gonna 
wipe my mouth on the American flag and then I'm gonna toss those 
styrofoam containers right out the side and there ain't a god-damned 
thing you can do about it, you know why? Cause we got the bombs that's 
why.

Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons Ok? Russia, Germany, Romania- they can have
all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right
through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of a
difference because we got the bombs OK? John Wayne's not dead-he's frozen. And
as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke out and
he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold
shower? Well multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off he's
gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam
Peckinpah and a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas.

(Hey you know you really are an asshole)

Why don't you just shut up and sing the song pal.....

I'm an asshole x2
A-S-S-H-O-L-E everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E