Tag Archives: Kmart

Man Wearing ‘Seriously I Have Drugs’ Shirt Arrested on Drug Charges

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Man Wearing ‘Seriously I Have Drugs’ Shirt Arrested on Drug Charges

Pasco County Sheriff’s Office via 97X WXLP

Florida man, John Balmer, was arrested at a Kmart in Hudson, Florida, on Monday.

During his arrest, police noticed Balmer’s shirt, which read: “Who needs drugs” in all caps. Underneath that, it read: “No, Seriously, I have drugs”.

And seriously, he did, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office. They then posted a photo of Balmer in the shirt on their Facebook page. 

According to FOX 13 in Tampa Bay, Balmer tried handing a bag containing a “green leafy substance” to another Kmart customer once he saw police enter the store.

That super smart person decided not to take the suspicious object from a stranger.

Balmer then walked to the register, put the baggy on the ground, and paid for his items.

The deputy checked the bag and found marijuana and methamphetamine. The witness confirmed it was the bag Balmer tried to hand off, according to the report.

Balmer was arrested and booked on charges of possession of meth and marijuana.

Maybe he’ll get a new shirt, “Who needs jail” and under it “No seriously, I’m in jail.”

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MAN HIDING OVERNIGHT IN A K-MART TO HUFF CANS OF AIR DUSTER

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This past Sunday, an early morning Kmart crew in Jonesboro, Arkansas came to work, only to find a pair of unfamiliar feet sticking out of a back-room cubby hole. The store manager called the local cops, who discovered the man, Robert Pry, was a retail stowaway who’d passed out in the storage area after huffing 16 cans (!) of air duster.

From Arkansas local ABC affiliate KAIT 8:

The store manager led the officer to the back room and pointed to a pair of feet sticking out from a cubby hole beneath some stairs.

Landreth said when Pry was “covered in vomit and urine.”

When asked what he was doing inside the store, Pry reportedly said “huffing.”

The night before, Pry came into Kmart before closing and hid. Once the premises were empty, the 21-year-old located the air-duster supply and started huffing, until he passed out underneath the set of stairs. This wasn’t his first air-duster binge of the day: Pry went to Kmart because he’d already exhausted the $100-worth of air duster he’d bought at Walmart earlier on Saturday.

Pry reportedly said he took his friend’s truck and drove to the Walmart on Parker Road where he purchased $100 worth of air duster. Officers located the truck on the Kmart parking lot. Inside were several more empty air duster cans.

Pry stated that “he had spent all of his money on air duster and that he wanted more,” Landreth reported. “That is why he was inside Kmart.”

According to the report, Pry said he was “addicted to huffing.”

Pry now faces a litany of charges, including commercial burglary.

Look at that man’s mugshot. Don’t huff.

[photo via Craighead Co. Sheriff’s Office]

To contact the author of this post, email camille@gawker.com.