Stoned Ohio man calls cops because he’s too high, is found groaning on floor surrounded by Doritos, cookies, other snacks
JUSTIN SULLIVAN/GETTY IMAGES
The 22-year-old man called cops after smoking too much pot, telling police he couldn’t feel his hands.
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio — Police in Ohio say they were called to a house by a man who complained he’d gotten too high smoking marijuana.
The Youngstown Vindicator reports that Austintown Township police on Friday found the 22-year-old man curled in a fetal position on the floor, groaning and surrounded by snacks that included Doritos, Goldfish crackers and Chips Ahoy cookies.
The newspaper reports that the man told officers he couldn’t feel his hands.
PreviousNextMmmmmm…..CHIPS! And cookies — so many cookies! Exported.; Enlarge
Officers found a glass jar of marijuana and paraphernalia in the man’s car after he gave them his keys. The man refused medical treatment and so far has not been charged with a crime.
Yesterday we covered Pastor Matt Makela, the anti-gay Michigan pastor who was outed on Grindr.Today a young man and his mother have stepped forward with their own story about Pastor Matt Makela. Tyler Kish was a teenage boy struggling to come to terms with his sexuality and sought counsel from Pastor Makela. His advice nearly caused Tyler to commit suicide:
“If he was going to go to hell for being gay then he might as well go to hell by committing suicide,” Jennifer Kish said, regarding what Makela told her son.
He didn’t stop there:
Jennifer Kish said the pastor also became vocal on social media about how he felt her son being gay was wrong and that as a parent she shouldn’t support him.
After listening to Tyler Kish, it seems Pastor Makela could’ve used some support and counseling of his own:
“Honestly feel very bad for him, because looking at it everything he was telling me, he was telling himself too, and I think that he was really kind of self destructing and hurting people around him,” Tyler Kish said.A hurt that could’ve changed this family’s lives forever, but Tyler Kish said love conquers all and he has found it in his heart to forgive the person he once blamed for his darkest days.
See a heartfelt interview with Tyler and his mother, Jennifer Kish at WNEM.com. And hats off to Jennifer Kish for taking a stand and removing her son from Pastor Makela’s hateful counseling.
Many New Yorkers’ worst fears came to pass on Saturday when an elderly man perpetrated a dildo attack on a subway car full of unsuspecting passengers.
According to eyewitness Aymann Ismail, around 9 p.m. the penile terrorist, who appeared to be having a fairly good time already, boarded the train and whipped it out for some young men trying to take selfies with him:
An older man of indeterminate ethnic origin [but probably East Asian?] boarded the train at Atlantic Avenue; the man seemed “fucked up on some kind of drug,” loose-limbed and sloppy. Some young men sitting next to him began making fun of him. One of the dudes took out his phone to snap a selfie with the older guy. At that point, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a massive dildo. The young guys and other people nearby ran away, laughing.
Perhaps emboldened by this validation, he continued brandishing the large, flexible, black dildo:
The man then started waving the big black dong around, pointing it at people and pretending to jerk it off. The man also kept standing up and clenching his butt cheeks.
Finally, he developed a more advanced protocol to maximize the delight inflicted on each new wave of incoming train friends:
Every time the train pulled into a station, he’d put the dildo away, sit quietly, let people board, then whip it out and wave it around, startling the new passengers.
“It honestly doesn’t look like any dildo I’ve ever seen,” noted Animal’s house sex toy expert. Spooky.
While I don’t feel qualified to comment on the dildo’s potentially extraterrestrial origins, my extensive psychonautic background leads me to conclude that Dr. Dong here was shrooming his face off. There’s only one substance on this planet that produces just such a combination of feral giggling, sly strategizing, and generous desire to include those around you in your beautifully hilarious–if tragically ephemeral–world. Compare his stance and expression to that of an associate of mine after ingesting a known dose of psilocybin. In this man’s mind, he’s a wise elf on a journey to Arcadia, armed with only a magic snake to protect him.
God speed you, fair elf lord. May your quest be ever fruitful and may you not end up in central booking.
[Animal New York | Photo and GIF: Aymann Ismail]
New post: Joey Chestnut Eats 9.5 Pounds Of Turkey In 10 Minutes (Edit) (tilliespuncturedromance)
This is a wonderful and inspiring story of a man who does one simple thing every day to protect a place he loves from environmental disaster. The thing is, he’s been doing this for 35 years, and in the end, he’s achieved something really incredible. What an example.
Police for the New Jersey Port Authority said Richard Thompson didn’t do that.
Investigators allege he had 50 grams of pot in his backpack when he showed up at the Fort Lee Municipal Court Thursday morning.
He was in court to answer to those charges, and went through the normal security screenings.
While he was being searched, officials allegedly found 50 grams of marijuana,two packages of rolling papers and an unrolled cigar wrapper commonly re-used to smoke marijuana, Port Authority spokesman Joe Pentangelo told .
Thompson was arrested on marijuana and drug paraphernalia charges. The arresting officer, Steve Pisciotta, is the same cop who arrested Thompson on marijuana and drug paraphernalia charges back in May, according to the Cliffview Pilot.
Accusations like this can really harsh a dude’s mellow.
A former UPS employee in Arizona is accused of stealing a package containing a $160,000 diamond and trading it for $20 worth of weed, ABC-15 reports.
Walter Earl Morrison, 20, thought that the package he allegedly swiped while unloading cargo at Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix contained cash, according to a probable cause statement obtained by The Smoking Gun. In fact, the package contained one pricey stone.
Authorities say the “half-baked bandit” traded the diamond for the equivalent of two joints of marijuana.
The diamond was later recovered and returned to its intended recipient.
Morrison was arrested Sept. 16 on a felony theft charge. He is scheduled for arraignment Oct. 1.
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