- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- What’s another word for Thesaurus?
- Who decided what order to put the alphabet in?
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- Why are there locks on the doors to the convenience store that is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year?
- Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?
- Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive? And why do bars have parking lots?
- Why does TEFLON stick to the frying pan, since nothing ever sticks to TEFLON?
- Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
- Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
- Why are there flotation devices under plane seats, instead of parachutes?
- Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?
- Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
- Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for monosyllabic ?
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- If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
- Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is?
- Does a fish get cramps after eating?
- Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss ? Shouldn’t it be called a near hit ?
- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same material?
- Why isn’t palindrome spelled the same way backwards?
- If you see a heat wave, should you wave back?
- Why does sour cream have a ‘best if used-by’ date? Does it turn sweet?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- Why is it called TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?
- Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
- If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
- Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
- Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?
‘Professional’ Rhetorical Questions
Taking advantage of words with double meanings…..
- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t if follow that electricians can be delighted; musicians denoted; cowboys deranged; models deposed; tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed? — Virginia Ostman
- Can a princess be disenchanted?
- Can married people be decoupled?
- Can fishermen be debated?
- Can a trash collector be well disposed?
- Can a doctor be patient?
- Can teachers be detested?
- Does a hair stylist ever get distressed?
- Can a president be denominated?
- Can a lawbreaker be defined?
- Can songwriters be decomposed?
- Have you ever heard of a symphony conductor getting disconcerted?
- Can an HVAC technician be deducted?
- Can an engineer be retrained?
- Can a writer be described?
- Have you ever seen a haberdasher who’s mad as a hatter?
- Can a guide be detoured?
- Can a magician become disillusioned?
- Could the Cowardly Lion discouraged, the Tin Man disheartened, and the Scarecrow reminded?
“Dejeme decirle, a riesgo de parecer ridiculo, que el revolucionario verdadero esta guiado por grandes sentimientos de amor.”
“Let me say at the risk of seeming ridiculous, that the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love. ”
“C’mon people, now smile on your brother, ev’ry-body get together, try to love one another right now.”
Source: Get Together
“Carry on, love is coming. Love is coming to us all.”
Source: Carry On
“And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey Love the one you’re with.”
Source: Love the One You’re With
“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”
Source: How to Save Your Own Life
“I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not tin this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.”
Frederick E. Perl
“With our love we could save the world”
Source: Within Without You
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep on watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it. ”
“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.”
“The Communists have no need to introduce free love; it has existed almost from time immemorial.”
Source: The Communist Manifesto
“Made up my mind to make a new start. Going to California with an aching in my heart. Someone told me there’s a girl out there With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair. ”
Source: Goin’ to California
“I felt like if any two people had any kind of sexual affinity for each other they had to sleep with each other immediately, otherwise it was a terrible betrayal and waste…Fortunately, I’m relieved of those obsessions now. It’s really wonderful. It’s really wonderful not feeling you have to sleep with everybody.”
Source: The Sixties – by Richard Avedon
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Crazy, but that’s how it goes Millions of people living as foes Maybe it’s not too late To learn how to love and forget how to hate!”
Source: Crazy Train
“I believe true happiness is derived from helping others and spreading love. Sharing Unconditional Love is the best high you can experience. Pure Engery flows though you unhindered by doubt, fear or expectation. It is magical beyond belief. Try it sometime!”
“If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”
“Make Love, Not War ”