Tag Archives: words

Norman J. Olson a few more poems and artwork

Standard
Norman J. Olson a few more poems and artwork

Norman J. Olson a few more poems and art

IMAG0273_1 (1)
Published on Apr 22, 2014

https://www.dropbox.com/…/b26agv6…/my%20movie%202.mp4…

a brief poetry reading and art by Minnesota small press poet and artist Norman J. Olson

imcd45ages                                                                         imcdeages

olson3

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world

Standard
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world

IMG_4846If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité

20 Really Funny Short Quotes:

Standard
20 Really Funny Short Quotes:

13 - 2

hobo hippie

Welcome to Mega Funny Quotes where you will find all the best short quotes that will make you laugh and think. Topics include life, love friendship and more from famous authors and writers. Enjoy and don’t forget to share these words of wisdom with your family and friends.

1.
”Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.” By Joe Theismann, Former quarterback

2.
”Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” By Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy), US comedian & ventriloquist (1903 – 1978)

3.
”I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” By Jackie Mason, US comedian (1934 – )

4.
”Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.” By Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 – 1915)

5.
”When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.” By Hermann Hesse, Swiss (German-born) author (1877 – 1962)

6.
”Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.” By Ann Landers, US advice columnist (1918 – 2002)

7.
”I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.” By Richard Diran

8.
”I have often depended on the blindness of strangers.” By Adrienne E. Gusoff, US teacher, humorist and greeting card writer

9.
”My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.” By Rita Rudner, US comedian

10.
”When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” By Henny Youngman, US (English-born) comedian (1906 – 1998)

11.
”We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.” By Jeff Marder

12.
”The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.” By Katharine Whitehorn

13.
”The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.” By Jay Leno, US comedian & television host (1950 – )

14.
”There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” By Douglas Adams, English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 – 2001)

15.
”Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought, particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.” By Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )

16.
”The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.” By Jane Wagner

17.
”Anyone who says businessmen deal in facts, not fiction, has never read old five-year projections.” By Malcom Forbes

18.
”To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.” By Joan Klempner

19.
”The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.” By Desmond Morris

20.
”The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.” By Mark Russell, US comedian, political commentator, & satirist (1932 – )